For the rest of the NBA playoffs, the Stiffs will be making game threads for the nightly games so that Stiffs readers have a place to hang out and watch with like-minded fans. Sign up for an account and join the rest of the Stiffs to talk about tonight’s games.
Saturday, the Jazz host the Warriors looking to extend their three game losing streak. There are three games on Sunday, starting with Cavs-Raptors, then Celtics-Wizards with Spurs-Rockets to close out the evening.
Let’s get to those precious roundtable questions.
Will the Warriors trail?
Daniel Lewis (@minutemandan): Nope.
Gordon Gross (@GMoneyNuggs): Only if they lose the tip and the Jazz make their first shot. I’ll go no.
Adam Mares (Adam_Mares): Yes. Nobody beats my guy Joe Ingles three times in a row.
Who would you rather guard, a grizzly bear trying to enter a river to catch fish after hibernation, or LeBron James in transition?
Lewis: Well, I’d probably only die in one of these situations, so I’ll go with the grizzly bear.
Gross: Isn’t there a third option, like a Mack truck rolling down a mountain road without brakes? Gimme the bear – I can at least throw fish at the bear.
Mares: The bear would either maul me or ignore me but no one would be around to watch and laugh. LeBron is toying with the Raptors in front of millions of people and I think even the Raptors are starting to wish they were someplace else. Like Cancun.
In three games, LeBron has finished an alley-oop off the backboard in the first quarter, pretended to drink a beer from a fan during a dead ball, spun the ball in his hands before making a 3-pointer, and taken shots with his left hand. What has been the most disrespectful thing of those, and what can he do to up the ante in Game Four?
Lewis: Oooh, tough call. I’m going to go with the early alley-oop. He signaled for the oop at halfcourt, and threw it down with his left hand. Two and a half minutes into Game One, series over, go home everyone, thanks for coming, but we’re done here. In Game Four, I’m hoping he goes out and shoots jumpers like Lonzo Ball.
Gross: I’m going with left-handed shots. As a lefty, I can tell you that’s some serious disrespect.
Mares: The oop happened at the very start of the series. That’s when I knew the Raptors weren’t winning a game. I think after game 4 LeBron should somehow reference how the Cavs didn’t even need to flip “the switch” just yet.
Marcus Smart is the Celtics “tough guy,” but was raised in Flower Mound, Texas. What is the least intimidating town name you’ve encountered?
Lewis: I’ll go with Paradise, Nevada. There isn’t a soul alive that’ll be scared thinking, “Aw, man, this guy is from Paradise, he’s gonna beat me senseless.”
Gross: I dunno man, I spent a lot of time in the state of Washington. It’s pretty hard to sound like a BAMF when you’re coming from Tulalip.
Mares: I love when Daniel asks very bizarre questions just to tell a story he was itching to tell somebody.
(Editor’s note – Commerce City is the least intimidating town name, it’s official)
You stiff a beggar outside a Carls Jr., only to have a magical gypsy reveal herself after your uncharitable act. She puts a curse on you, but allows you to choose one of two outcomes: having Kawhi Leonard’s hands, or James Harden’s beard, until you learn the meaning of love. What do you choose?
Lewis: Kawhi has some freaky big hands, but I couldn’t go more than five minutes without scratching my face with a beard that big. I’ll take the humongous hands.
Gross: I’ll take the hands. I’m pretty sure there’s a family of badgers in Harden’s beard, and I’m allergic to badgers.
Mares: I choose Kawhi’s hands and then I choose to never learn the meaning of love. Kawhi’s hands are awesome and I would dominate my local rec leagues if I could palm the ball as easily as he can.
Talk about your picks for the four games this weekend.
Lewis: Warriors over the Jazz, Cavs sweep the Raptors, Wizards over the Celtics, Rockets over Spurs.
Gross: Warriors and Cavs for wins, Celtics and Spurs for losses. So what Daniel said.
Mares: Besides picking that Daniel will never get to run the shootaround again, I’ll go with the Jazz winning game 3, Cavs sweep, Wizards and Rockets even things up.
Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful Cinco de Mayo weekend.
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